Alcoholism

I heard this phrased in the rooms as the definition of alcoholism and related to it.I added a visual effect to help the message along.

Here is my poem:

Alcoholism

I

built

tall walls

around......me,

the............world

I.................would

not................tout.

Only......................to

realize...............That

................. I ...............

could.......................not

get...........................out.


Copyright © 2008 Ronald J. Edwards

Silent Night

This is a very terrible piece of my life that I am still ashamed of to this day. I did this many many years ago on Xmas eve as my family watched in horror, me drunk and out of control. I actually threw the Xmas tree out the back door of my house, lights, bulbs, everything ... My wife at the time took the kids and left me. It truly was a "silent night"

Here is my poem:

Silent Night

No chestnuts roasting or carol’s sung,
eggs shells all around.
There I sat, my kids walk by
trying not to make a sound.

Another night like all the rest,
alone with family.
My children hoping Santa Claus
would show up just to spite me.

Xmas was another day
no difference, all the same.
More I wished it all would end
the meaner I became.

Staring hard now at the tree
standing in its glory.
Shiny balls with blinking lights
began this horror story.

I was on my fourth or fifth,
lost count some time ago.
My inner rage was focused now
on a angel with a halo.

Sliding doors swung open,
I threw Xmas from my house.
Chaos had returned again,
to it I did espouse.

The look in all my families eye’s
as tears began to fall.
I did not care what I had done,
my spirit went awol.

When I came too I was alone,
a note pinned to my shirt.
In not so many words it told
my likeness to the dirt.

I’ve kept that note and read it
to set my sober mind aright.
On Xmas eve no longer,
do I spend a “silent night”.

Copyright © 2008 Ronald J. Edwards

Steps

This is my interpretation of the 12 Steps and is no way shape or forms the same feelings of AA.

Here is my poem:

To climb the stairway to heaven
it’s one step at a time.
My faith I do hold onto,
a handrail thru subtle and sublime.

My entry was in question,
cause I was most inept.
I thought all was together,
uncontrollably I wept.
“ We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Looking within I did believe
I was lord and master.
There had to be a greater one
if sanity would replace disaster.
“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

My inner force found new direction,
the One I came to know.
Discarding baggage I did not need,
now easier to go.
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

There came a need to concede
all my errand ways,
and to allow so to proceed
without them in my days.
“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

“ Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

Yet there remained a scantly few
spots on the blank oaktage.
Again a request to please remove
this slightly soiled rag.
“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

“Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”

My errors caused hurt feelings,
a long record I did make.
Sorry was not good enough,
this I could not fake.
“Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”

In traveling up the stairs of life
if abreast one came to be,
I had to be ready of what to say
without hurting them or me.
“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”

I did not know I had big feet
and stepped on many toes.
I had to look down and realize
the blame was on my boughs.
“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”

To improve my progress
it came time for me to ponder.
With out fully knowing Him
I would get lost and wander.
“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

My consecration does depend
following this intel.
I must return to help all that are
coming up this stairwell.
“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”


Copyright © 2007 Ronald J. Edwards