There were a handful of times in my life when chaos ran rampant and turmoil was all around me. These are days I am not soon to forget. The consequences of my actions have become a very strong deterrent in continuing on down certain roads. It seems that the longer I was in the chaos of irresponsible actions and self-centered attitudes the more intense the turmoil became:
“silence has crept up close to me
its claws deep in my thought
impending doom is all around
depression it has wrought”
I have a close friend whom I have had the pleasure to be able to talk with, use as a sounding board and most of learn from his sharing of his life’s experiences,Bobby C. He has shared on many occasions of a state of mind called “the gray zone":
“the gray zone
is my new abode
i’m bout to hit new lows”
You don’t live life in the gray zone you merely exist in it. Consciousness and being aware are just barely at a level that you are awake and moving about in the day but without any real purpose or conviction. This is a by-product from my consumption of the poison of my choice.
“see en h two en
plus ten h
is poison in my veins”
I was asked what the meaning of “see en h two en plus ten h” and it simply is the formula/equation to aliphatic alcohol CnH2n+10H. This type of alcohol is toxic and found in very low-grade sometimes-homemade drinking alcohols. It is indeed poison and will kill if drank over periods of time.
“silence has crept up close to me
its claws deep in my thought
impending doom is all around
depression it has wrought”
I have a close friend whom I have had the pleasure to be able to talk with, use as a sounding board and most of learn from his sharing of his life’s experiences,Bobby C. He has shared on many occasions of a state of mind called “the gray zone":
“the gray zone
is my new abode
i’m bout to hit new lows”
You don’t live life in the gray zone you merely exist in it. Consciousness and being aware are just barely at a level that you are awake and moving about in the day but without any real purpose or conviction. This is a by-product from my consumption of the poison of my choice.
“see en h two en
plus ten h
is poison in my veins”
I was asked what the meaning of “see en h two en plus ten h” and it simply is the formula/equation to aliphatic alcohol CnH2n+10H. This type of alcohol is toxic and found in very low-grade sometimes-homemade drinking alcohols. It is indeed poison and will kill if drank over periods of time.
“a cauldron boils
this deadly brew
deliquescing my brains”
I do not relish or miss those periods of my life and would not wish them on anyone. Turmoil has no prejudice and welcomes all who seek it. It will invite you to mix company and turns no one away.
“if what you seek is logical
please walk away from me
turmoil has power over all
just wait, and watch, you’ll see”
Here is my poem:
Turmoil
Bobby C. thanks for sharing
Silence has crept up close to me
its claws deep in my thought.
Impending doom is all around
depression it has wrought.
Desires, hopes and dreams are dead
carnage has joined the lot.
They’re buried in despair and doubt
expelled into a grot.
Strange bedfellows these horrors are,
insanity runs unabated.
As smoke from hell seethes in my soul
my life has been serrated.
Love turns to hate,
dreams to nightmares,
all friends become my foes.
The gray zone
is my new abode,
I’m bout to hit new lows.
See-en-h-two-en
plus ten-h
is poison in my veins.
A cauldron boils
this deadly brew
deliquescing my brains.
If what you seek is logical
please walk away from me.
Turmoil has power over all,
just wait, and watch, you’ll see.
Copyright © 2007 Ronald J. Edwards
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